I have had the privilege of caring for 4 of my grandchildren this week since Thursday morning, and we have been in VBS this week so we have had a LOT of time together. I asked for this pleasure, I begged for it, (because I had been sick) and my son was (rightly so) scared of leaving the kids with me, and me getting sicker..,. I LOVE my children with all my heart. They are the most amazing children in the world. They have the most amazing children in the world. My SWEET beautiful, talented, gifted, brilliant, smart, helpful, mischievous, (did I say amazing) grandchildren.
Knowing that I was 100% responsible for their well-being for this period of a time, and with their parents so far away, terrified me in a way, I was never terrified as a parent. I was confident as a parent, I was strict, I was over strict (with one) and too lazy with the other, and just down right, flat-out wrong
I found myself, very “un”confident, very second guessing, very “guilty” about every word, every action, every reaction, and every choice that was made. Was it right, was it wrong, did I screw them up forever, did I do something special that they would always remember, or could they just have fun… (they didn’t 100% of the time) and ya know what… That was OKAY.
I don’t have to make everything perfect for my grandchildren all the time, I don’t have to be “on” 100% of the time, 100% of everything being, going, doing, planning, playing, talking and or that Disneyland grandparent (without the benefit of Disneyland)
i CAN BE OFF AND IT’S GOING TO BE OKAY. I can apologize and let them realize that I am not perfect (trust me, they knew it anyway, but I was clueless) and that life sometimes with grandparents will be NOT fun and games, and NOT about doing something “fun” or “planned” or whatever…..
It will be rules, and it will be discipline and it could be hard… But it can still be fun… and that’s okay….
I hurt each one of them’s feelings in some way this weekend, somehow. I made them obey (oh my gosh) and they even had to help at home, and shocker, I know, they even back talked (Brian and Amilia, please don’t freak out, because that’s NORMAL for children to do, and while it’s not necessarily the norm for parents) it’s okay as their grandparent to let it happen. Because that’s how they stand up for themselves, become independent, have a voice…sometimes, it’s okay for them to be wrong, and it be okay… (with me) I need to remember that they aren’t little adults, they are KIDS, with KID feelings, KID emotions and KID hearts. (even the teenagers) (Just please know these kids aren’t disobedient) they are KIDS!!!) It may seem like they are being just unruly and whatever else, but please know that it is JUST the opposite!!
Those hearts, so big, so amazing, and they LOVE their grandparents (all of them, we discussed YOU ALL this weekend) and that all of their grandparents are super grandparents.
I get to be in their lives more than most and for us, it is a routine, Church, Library days, every week something fun (at least once) and they are part of a routine with me, and they are AMAZING!!! They have learned to give my insulin shots (I can do it, they choose too) they help with my oxygen and my wheelchair and, oh my gosh, there is NOT enough words that I can say to say to them, thank you…. for being so amazing.
You 4 kids have helped me so much this weekend, not just “physically” but emotionally and spiritually and in ways, that you may never know.
I have realized, exactly HOW HARD it is for your parents and realize that they are incredible, awesome parents, (even when I think they are too strict) Because sometimes strict is what is necessary to teach.
I cannot express my love for these 4 kids (and the rest of them) in words. There are no words.
But know, that you have taught Memaw so much in such a short little time, that I pray, and I am praying hard that each day with you from here on out will be incredibly different. Not necessarily different in things we do, but different in expectations of your behaviors.
I expect you to back talk, I expect you to “have wiggles” and suck the water bottle in ’till it scrunches, and to fight with your brothers and sisters, and argue with me, because
that’s what kids do…
doesn’t make it right, but it makes it okay…
and discipline (the right way) isn’t a bad thing, trusting you that your choices and your actions are okay….. And knowing that because you have a life with God, you are going to still make bad choices, but that you already know when you have done something wrong. You KNOW, because you have that conviction of God’s heart.
I have also learned that way too much, is WAY too much…. Down time, is a good thing… Just sitting around reading a book and not being “on” is okay… (well, I knew it was anyway) but the “entertainment factor” is changing. I do NOT have to entertain you 100% of the time that I am with you…. YOU can entertain me, with your strength and your wisdom, and your choices (because you all make awesome choices most of the time) and your just being who you are.
Who you are, is, my SWEET beautiful, talented, gifted, brilliant, smart, helpful, mischievous, (did I say amazing) grandchildren, this also goes for the rest that weren’t with me this weekend. I think you all are so awesome and all the above too…
Just know that there are gonna be some changes. You may not like some of the changes coming up, but just know that the changes in me are gonna be there. Because you all deserve the best.
2 Timothy 1:13-14 “What you heard from me, keep as the pattern of sound teaching, with faith and love in Christ Jesus. Guard the good deposit that was entrusted to you—guard it with the help of the Holy Spirit who lives in us.”
God has blessed me with these amazing grandchildren, and I am so honored to be their grandparent… I pray that he can give me the strength, and the wisdom to do what is right by these amazing children. (a couple that aren’t children, but teenagers) They DESERVE the most amazing life ever!!!! Don’t even think that there will be more things more things happening and more “going” (it will probably be less) and that there will be more discipline, just different discipline. No more of the thinking you have to be perfect all the time, but more of the knowing that you will be kids and going to be some things happen that well, you probably need to be disciplined for. But know now that the discipline, probably will not like any discipline you have ever received before. I’ve tried, but I know I am very inconsistent, and I will promise you that God will bless our relationship 100% more than he has already has and because of that, things will change…
Yes you must have manners, yes you have to not hit your brothers and sisters, and yes, you even have to clean up after yourself, that doesn’t change.
You do get to have fun, you do get to know that when you mess us, that it’s going to be okay. You do need to know that no matter what you do, I am never going to stop loving you.
No matter what you say, I will NEVER stop loving you.
I didn’t think it was possible to love you any more than I already have, but I do.
Thank you for this wakeup call….
Memaw needed it.
Thank you again, Brian and Amilia for being the BEST parents for these children. I am so proud that you are the parents of my grandchildren and honored that you trust me enough. I pray that you will see the change also, NOT in the kids, because they are and have done exactly what they should have done, being kids and learning about life.
They are awesome, and you both have done an incredible job raising them.
Isaiah 46:4 “Even to your old age and gray hairs I am he, I am he who will sustain you. I have made you and I will carry you; I will sustain you and I will rescue you.”
What a promise. HE will rescue me. I am so ready to be rescued! Oh yes, God, please rescue me, please take me to a place that only you can. I NEED to be rescued from myself. From that grandparent that sees everything as “if you show them fun, they will love you” to the grandparent that if you show them love, they already love you… I don’t have to show them fun, I have to show them respect. and love. That’s IT, with those two things, then the rest will come.
God please give me the love, the understanding and thank you for the blessing to be the best grandparent I can for these children, because they deserve the very best. I thank you every day for them and for the gift of their beautiful lives! Thank you so much for gifting me with their parents also.
Here are some pictures from our week. I didn’t get many, but here’s couple!