I finally scheduled a Dr’s appt, I needed some meds refilled and I know I needed some help with this.
At the Dr.’s appt. I told Dr. I everything that was going on.
We talked for a long time about the past month and things that had happened.
I broke down in his office just talking about it again.
I have NOT been in a good place. And the bad part, is I don’t know WHY.
I mean really, David’s thing was a fluke, and when he left, that was what I raised him to do. To leave, go on his own and make a life. I’m PROUD OF HIM!!!! He had already done the empty nest thing, so that was a non-issue. David’s been going to sleep away camps since he was 6. It’s really a non-issue.
My Aunt is healthy and well. I have 5 beautiful grandchildren. My children and grown and doing what they want to be doing in their lives, they are happy.
I have nothing to be so depressed about that I cannot function, and yet here I am. I have nothing to have such high anxiety about and yet here I am.
However, with my doctor, I was given these two words… MAN UP!
(I’m glad we have a good relationship)
And ya know, it hit me like a ton of bricks.
even though I am depressed and I do have a high anxiety level, heck
I do need to MAN UP.
I have 5 little kids that are looking to me as example. My kids are looking to me to still lead our family regardless of the fact that they are own their own now.
I have responsibilities to my life. My self, my community, my family, and most of to my God.
And without, MANNING up, there is NO WAY I’m going to be able to wake up each day and go through the day and do these.
I am going to have to reach for the Bible every day. I’m going to have pray through it, I’m going to have seek out the face of Jesus and when things go wrong (they will) turn towards Heaven
Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.