Five Minute Friday Dec 6 – Reflect

very late, but here it is!

Reflect

today, I reflect.

on me, on life, on family, on thanksgiving, on visits,  – reflect

I believe that the visit I had with my son this past 10 days, was probably the worst, possible visit we have ever had.  Although being with him, seeing him safe and having that connection of daily interaction, was so amazing as a mom… I ruined his visit.

I have anger issues.  Major ones.  I don’t know why, but lately over the past few months it’s been horrible and getting worse.  I don’t know what all I am angry about, I’m just angry.  Which is not Biblical at all. 

That in and of itself is enough guilt for me.  However, add in the fact that I ruined his visit, makes it 1,000,000 times worse.  I wasn’t angry at him ever.  Just angry.  I took it out on everyone around  me.  I hate this, I am angry at myself for this whole 10 days. I drove a wedge between us, that  may never be repaired.  

The reflection I have is that I love my family with all of my heart.  I adore them.  Would lay down my life for them…

I want to apologize to all of them and at least try to start making amends for my actions.  Reflections on myself are always very hard.

I don’t know how to make it better, I don’t know where to start, except to say I’m sorry.  Pray that God will help me get through this and pray above all that he/they can forgive me.

As I Reflect tonight, I know that I have the most amazing family in the world.

I love you all, to the moon and back and infinity and beyond

I am so very sorry for the way I acted.

I pray that we can get through this and get back to a good place

Reflect

Five Minute Friday

Five Minute Friday

#FiveMinuteFriday

I wrote this post in just five minutes. With little to no editing. It’s part of what we call Five Minute Fridays.

Linking here with Lisa-Jo Baker for #fiveminutefriday

You are very welcome and warmly encouraged to join in.

2 Responses

  1. Thank you Marissa! Yea! It is very hard to explain!

    Like

  2. I am sorry you feel the anger that you do. It is hard to explain to people your emotions when you don’t understand them yourself. Fortunately the love of God is unconditional and that is the same love that He has given us to our children and our children to us… so even if your son’s visit wasn’t ideal the love is still just as strong today as it was two weeks ago because that love is ordained by the most high!

    Like

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