The Day of Tears

Ever have one of those days, where everything that possibly could go wrong did.  Do NOT lie to me and tell me you haven’t, because there is just no way, every day you have is perfect.  It just doesn’t happen

However, it all depends on how you look at it.

I’m blessed, I KNOW I’m blessed.

Again, I am so blessed beyond measure and I KNOW, I am blessed.

One more time, I am so very blessed, and I know that I have a God who reigns on High and will give me the tools to do everything that ever changes my way of thinking!!!

See it’s all in how you look at it.

Let me roll back about a week and a half.

I found another diabetic ulcer on my foot.  Not the one that usually gets them, but the other one, so that was strange in and of itself.  I went to church last Sunday night though and I could NOT get it to quit bleeding out.  It ruined a perfectly good pair of shoes, and let me just say, I’m glad our carpet at church us red. (seriously)

That’s how much it was bleeding.  So I try to get in to see the dr and I get told that it will be two weeks, and well I was so frustrated because this particular person on the other end of the phone didn’t listen to me at all, that I just hung up and decided to call back for the nurse.  I finally get her on the phone and she says, well it’s going to be two weeks.  I say one more time, You DID hear me say I have a diabetic wound?  I don’t know what was going on in their office, but it must have been something very serious, but she just abruptly said, I’ve got to go, and will call you back soon. <~~~ First lesson to myself, that I know I am blessed.  i was saying prayers for whatever/whoever was happening in the clinic and that everything was okay.

She did, we worked it out and he would see me on Thurs because I had an appointment with my PCP on Wed and at least it would already be started being treated.

My granddaughter ends up sick and I give her my appointment <~~~~ there is another reason that I know I am blessed.  My sweet baby had a double ear infection and was in a good bit of pain.  So glad she was able to get in to see the dr quickly and hat she got some meds and was on her way to healing.

I get to the wound care clinic and they do my A1C and when the dr comes in, he is furious with me.  First, apparently I missed an appointment, my A1C had jumped about 3 points, and several other things.  But I know I’m blessed.  Really!  I do KNOW it

So go ahead to today, after a grand holiday with my family and friends and great fireworks and the most incredible fried fish I have ever had (thank you Brian and Hale) and just a great evening of being with grandkids,kids, sister, etc.

Life is so good.  We went to church, cleaned a lot over the weekend, and just had a fantastic time.  Paul had a 4 day weekend for the FIRST time in we can’t remember (we really seriously tried to figure it out, and we are figuring, July 4th of last year when we went on a short vacation)

anyway, fast forward to Monday morning.  I have a nurse visit and a million phone calls to make.  So I start on the phone calls, etc and the nurse gets here and re dresses my foot, but I had already started feeling down and having myself a good old-fashioned pity party.

I finished up the day, with chores etc, from my bed with the dog and by the end of the day, I am in serious tears.

I mean serious tears.  Sobbing crying, <~~~~  I don’t know why, other than I was feeling sorry for myself.

Then I got word of a good friend who fell and broke his ankle in two places.  A man who does so much for the community in so many different ways, and I thought you dingaling, think about, you still have so much use of your foot, why are you crying, you have a beautiful family to dote on, why are you crying?  Your life is pretty dadgum good!!! WHY are you crying?

I honestly can’t tell you why I was crying.  I don’t know.  I do know that after more than a few minutes and along talk with God, I was thinking to myself, how trivial.  How much have I neglected to see in my pity party.  The sunshine, the sunrise, the sunset, my flowers growing, going outside to watch the dog play, being “in” the world, and not just cooped up in my bed feeling sorry for myself.

God tells us, do everything with a cheerful heart.  I know he doesn’t mean, plaster a fake smile on your face and go through the motions, He means, have love in your heart, a smile on your face, and let Him rule your thoughts to get you through the hard times.

I’ve heard so much bad news today, a HS friend’s cancer has spread, a baby died because her parents left her in the car in the heat, a man was bitten by a shark, the uprising in all the foreign countries, our border collapse and the problems that are facing the border agents and just on and on and on.  And here I am crying for who knows why?

When you are so down that you lose control of yourself and the only recourse is that pity party.  Have it.  A good cry is worth so much.  Just remember though, that in that pity party, you MUST realize that you have a Lord and Savior that rules over your and that you are the child of the ONE TRUE KING!!!

How on earth can that NOT put a smile on your face?

I know I will have more bad days.  Those bad days may come sooner than later.  <~~~~~But I have so MUCH to be thankful for and I am so incredibly blessed, because I know that I have a God that loves me, He lives in my heart and He will heal my wounded heart, my wounded spirit and my physical wounds

This song, came to my heart today, and I love the words,

Jesus, He meets you where you are, He heals your secret scars

Can you imagine the  day of tears that Mary felt, or the disciples.  The sadness, the weariness, that feeling of dread.  KNOWING that Jesus was going to be crucified on the cross.  That sadness, but oh what sheer joy we find in that empty tomb.  The empty tomb!!  Oh what a blessing it is, to know that MY SAVIOR lives, and that He loves… He loves so much, that He collects my tears. He gathers them up, he keeps them for me, and I know HE heals my wounded heart…

.I am so incredibly blessed that I never have to fret, and in fact He tells me to let Him do that!  Let Him take my worries, my sadness, my tears…The tears I can throw away and praise HIM <~~~~because I am blessed..


Friend of a Wounded Heart - By Wayne Watson
Smile, make 'em think you're happy
 Lie and say that things are fine
 And hide that empty longing that you feel
 Don't ever show it, just keep your heart concealed
Why are the days so lonely?
 I wonder where, where can a heart go free
 And who will dry the tears that no one's seen?
 There must be someone to share your silent dreams
Caught like a leaf in the wind
 Lookin' for a friend, where can you turn?
 Whisper the words of a prayer and you'll find Him there
 Arms open wide, love in His eyes
Jesus, He meets you where you are
 Jesus, He heals your secret scars
 All the love you're longing for
 Is Jesus, the friend of a wounded heart
Joy comes like the the morning
 And hope deepens as you grow
 And peace, beyond the reaches of your soul
 Comes blowing through you, for love has made you whole
Once like a leaf in the wind
 Looking for a friend, where could you turn?
 You spoke the words of a prayer and you found Him there
 Arms open wide, love in His eyes
Jesus, He meets you where you are
 Jesus, He heals your secret scars
 All the love you're longing for
 Is Jesus, the friend of a wounded heart
He meets you where you are
 Jesus, He heals your secret scars
 All the love you're longing for, all the love that you need
 Is Jesus, the friend of a wounded heart
The friend of a wounded heart


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