My Story – The Unveiled Wife

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what a fantastic book.

however, I found it very hard to read.

not because Jen is a poor author,

but because words she said, poured off the pages and into my heart

and they hit home 

I mean slapped me in the face with a 2×4.

Even just today, I went through a struggle with my husband again, with no communication and words said that hurt (on both sides) things done that hurt, and because of this, I pull my veil down even further and we separated even further.

I honestly, don’t think I really recognized our struggle until a couple of years ago.

My dad was in hospice, my sister had a very tragic accident that left her in a coma, and my husband chose then to leave me.  Was his time good?  nope… Was his reasons valid?  very much so on some things, did it work out.  Well let me just say we are an everyday work in progress.

Jen’s chapter in her book about Jealousy is me.  I mean to a tee.  She could have replaced “I” with Laura and the book would have read the same, except for the husband name and places.

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My struggle with jealousy is very real.  I say in my heart that I am not jealous, however, I know I am.

and rightfully so.  

My husband has cheated on my three times.  twice with very close friends.  

Those friends are no longer friends, although I did what Jesus says and turned the other cheek.  This struggle is so real.  First because of the act itself (only one was physical) but the other two hurt just as bad for their own reasons, because of the lies, the mistrust, the false words, the fake women, when they would talk to me.  So many reasons.  

So yeah, my struggle with jealousy is so real and I know God says it’s a sin.  However, let me tell you this.  It is the enemy.

The enemy will kill in so many ways.  I may throw one of my jealous tantrums, and it drives a wedge between us as it should.  My husband has every right to protect himself..  

After all these years of being married and going through all the things that we have like catastrophic illnesses with both of us a son that was very ill (thank God for His wondrous healing) and job losses, and many other things that millions of couples go through all the time.  We still can’t talk to each other sometimes the right way, and that is when the enemy wins.

The thing I mentioned just today.  My husband works at night  so I am either still asleep when he gets home or am waking up.  Tonight he was very late coming in, I knew he was going to be late, so I took that time to rest.  Well when he came in, he didn’t tell me that he was going in that many hours late.  I went on with my day just like normal and ready to meet him back at home after he had gotten up with his dinner and to help me carry in the groceries.    I call him from the grocery store cause he should be awake by now.  “Oh I’m not getting up till 3 hours later than normal”  Because of my illness, I cannot carry groceries, so I planned it around him being up, bought dinner and then by the time he was ready for work, he could carry the groceries in.   I got met with the biggest attitude and hatefulness and then I reacted all because we cannot talk to each other, or won’t.  I really haven’t figured that out yet.  This is just one small example of how we let the enemy win, instead of turning to God when we need Him most

If your marriage is going to work, you must lift that veil and totally communicate with your spouse.  I mean everything that is even remotely important, even if you think it’s not.  

for one thing, it’s disrespectful not to clue your spouse in on your plans for the day.

two, that communication time is a bonding time

three, God tells us in I Corinthians 13: 4-6 Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

so giving all you have to the one you love is the right thing to do  Giving all is communicating, being trustworthy, being loyal, not being jealous and above all loving no matter what.

Am I recusing my jealousy by things that have been done to me?  absolutely not   My husband sought out forgiveness from me  He deserves the respect I can give him, in NOT being jealous, and then I need to seek out more communication, and I need to be the one to instill our life plans, regardless of what he does.  I need to talk, I need to praise, I need to give him 100% of myself.

Because Jealousy and Communication go hand in hand remember this.  Jealousy is the enemy.  Plain and clear.  No one else.  Lack of Communication is a growth part for each of you, or rather a lack of growth. Because of my jealousy and my lack of communication I make my marriage, a marriage that is less than…  

To confide in one another is one of the most intimate parts of being married.  Every act of physical love, starts with talking.  This intimacy begins with your being intimate with God  Alone and Together

I strongly urge any married couple, any couple that is thinking of getting married and anyone praying for a future spouse to read this book The Unveiled Wife

below is an A Powerful & Inspirational Open Letter From A Wife – The Unveiled Wife

Marriage is a mosaic you build with your ­spouse—millions of tiny moments that create your love story.

 

 So many great quotes are in this book, that I have taped around my home, in my prayer journal and in my car, to remind me that I am not perfect, my sins are there, and I’m 100% in this marriage, and 100% a part of the reason that we struggle. – marriage is not 50-50.  It is each partner giving 100% all the time.

You can go download the first chapter here. http://unveiledwife.com/#free-chapter

 

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2 Responses

  1. Hi Sister, I found you via the #theunveiledwife on twitter and thought I would come on over to say hello!
    I too, shared on jealousy and how it almost destroyed my marriage. Hot topic! I have to commend you for lifting the veil and sharing about the pain you have experienced through adultery and also commend you on your focus on your own heart attitude. Way to go. God will bless you!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Sounds like a great book – I pray that it can help you in your life! 🙂

    Like

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