When Church Hurts – What Do You Do?

(this is a reblog of something I  Published on: May 8, 2014 @ 6:03 of last year) it seems very fitting again

Psalm 15 depicts the marks of an authentic Christian. It says,

“He casts no slur on his fellowman…. but honors those who fear the Lord In any given troubling situation we need to honestly ask ourselves, “Am I making choices that allow God to be in control here or am I taking control?”

I know I am trying my best to allow God to take control… what do you do when church members do not do the same.  How do you react?  how do you minister to them?  DO you minister to them?

Sometimes relationships at church can be some of the most hurtful ever.


Satan has a way of doing that.  Hitting us where it hurts the most.  Our families, our jobs, our church….

When things are going bad and they sometimes will… when you put a lot of different personalities in a setting where they make decisions, and they decide things based on emotion, feelings, reactions, etc.

How do you react.

Turn the other cheek

 But I say to you, Do not resist the one who is evil. But if anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also. And if anyone would sue you and take your tunic, let him have your cloak as well.  Matthew 5:39 ESV

Do unto others,

For every action, there must be an equal and opposite reaction (Newton’s Third Law)

But seriously:

(quote by Anthony Robbins)

Whatever happens, YOU must pray, first, you must pray.  You must change your heart.  You must witness to that person.  The best way you can.  IF you can, sometimes that is not going to be an opportunity.

If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone.  If he listens to you, you have gained your brother  Matthew 18:15

Whatever happens, YOU must pray, first, you must pray.  You must change YOUR heart.  You must witness to that person.  The best way you can.  IF you can  Sometimes that is not going to be an opportunity.

So you seek forgiveness within yourself, from yourself and for that person.  You talk to God.

However I MUST ask , how many times do you turn the other cheek.  How many times do you let someone run over you in the name Of Jesus.

Because church hurts, even though desires for church to be a safe place and a sanctuary, sometimes that is not going to happen and you MUST deal with the situation, not brush it under the carpet.

If you do that, resentment builds, distrust builds, and lack of “love” for God’s people happens…

So forgive yourself, love yourself, love the other person, the best way you can, and know that while it’s probably going to happen… You are the one that must be the change.



4 Responses

  1. I have experienced that myself and it has thought me to trust people but to know that no one is perfect yet, not even Pastor standing behind the pulpit. It has made me to trust God the more because He alone can’t fail. And even when He seems to have failed me I know His heart enough to know that He is working things out for my good.


  2. thank you so much! I have had two very severe hurts in the church and I am trying to stay focused on the real reason of why we go to church. It’s not about what i want, it’s about what God needs. When I am in church, I try to shut things out and then focus on the reason I am there to worship Him and E is my fortress. In Him I am set free!


  3. Such an important topic. We seem too quick to just switch churches these days. Hopefully we don’t leave behind our biological families so readily. I think often about how many times Jesus said to forgive. Seventy times seven. And then, if I know my Jesus, He would encourage you to start counting all over again when that number was up. But I’m learning to create safe boundaries. Those are necessary too. A thoughtful post.


  4. Oh, church hurts can be some of the worst, yes? I’ve had a few myself. And I’m sure I’ve caused a few myself, hopefully unintentionally, but still. 😦

    This is the truth right here: “You are the one that must be the change.” Amen, Laura. Thanks for this reminder that change always has to begin with us.


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