Become a Better Friend | Natalie Chambers Snapp’s ‘Heart Sisters’ and Girls’ Night Out Giveaway

Want to be a better friend and have better friends? Natalie Chambers Snapp wrote Heart Sisters just for you! She uses her own and others’ stories of successes and failures to illustrate what she has learned about girlfriend relationships. Discussion questions, space to journal, photos, and quick interviews of healthy female friendships are included within each chapter.

Help Natalie celebrate the release of her new book by entering to win goodies you’ll need for a girls’ night out with your heart sister!

heart sisters-400One grand prize winner will receive:

Enter today by clicking the icon below. But hurry, the giveaway ends on May 17th. Winner will be announced May 18th on Natalie’s blog.

heart sisters-enterbanner

{NOT ON FACEBOOK? ENTER HERE.}

Now for my honest review of this book:

I am in love with this book  having many acquaintances and very few friends, this book has been a real eye opener to me.
there are many reasons why I choose not to have very close friends, however being hurt, of course is the main reason.  I mean really hurt.  Can we say skeered???  I am terrified of having a close female friend,

The pain I have suffered is monumental, so much that I have had to seek peace.  Has it worked?  Oh no, not at all.  I’m a very jealous, scared, sad human being.  Have I asked for forgiveness for what I contributed?  Of course, have I given my forgiveness?  I honestly thought I had.

Heart Sisters has made me realize that I have no more given my forgiveness than the man in the moon.  I am a wimp.  A God-Fearing, non forgiving wimp.

So I have been in prayer about these things and I know that my role is to seek out and forgive.  However, at the place in my heart now, I can’t.  Some of the women, I have not forgiven, some I have just not asked, and some, I just didn’t think I needed too.

So I ask from my readers, to please pray for me.  Pray that I God can give me the courage to truly forgive in my heart.  I mean truly forgive in my heart.  Then I need to go to these people.  Please ask God for that also.

I have been completely and utter stunned about my response to this because I was truly sure that I was over this and had done the right thing.

There are so many things that this book has given me the tools to be able to forgive.  I pray that it’s sun because I know that God will be happy with me when it’s done.

Obviously you can tell that I liked the book.  Well, other than the stepping on the toes, and the slapping in the face, and the 2×4 up to the head 🙂  Thank you Natalie!
The book has great resources, including discussion questions, pictures, interviews, room to journal and so much more.
This little book is packed with so many resources.

First, I cannot thank God enough for giving me the friends I have,
Second, I can’t thank Natalie enough for writing this book
Third, I cannot thank my friends that I have enough for putting up with me, warts and all.  Thanks for being there through everything and giving me the support that you do.

God is good and I promise you that this book will give you the resources you need, if you have a relationship that needs mended, or even if you don’t.

Once we humble ourselves to the Lord, humbling ourselves to others becomes a bit easier.  humility is the key that unlocks hearts”.  –  Natalie Chambers Snapp

this book is amazing and I strongly suggest you either go buy it, enter this contest, or ask me to borrow it!!  I will send it to anyone on their kindle!

check out these sayings that @Natalie Chambers Snapp has made to go with the book #HeartSisters.  She put so much thought into the words in this book and then made these graphics.  I have printed them for a little booklet, so that when things start getting bad and I have a moment, where I either can’t or won’t remember the reasons that God gives us friends.  Thanks so much to Natalie Chambers Snapp for all of these great reminders  

here they are in a movie format set to CeCe Winans Always Sisters

I have made them into a PDF document so you can print your own little copy for a booklet!.  You can print your copy here!  These are ALL owned and made by Natalie Chambers Snapp

Click the link below and the document will come up in a new browser and you can download and print it

Heart Sisters

 

Interview with Natalie Chambers Snapp
Natalie Chambers Snapp
Heart Sisters: Be The Friend You Want To Have
Questions and Answers
Why led you to write Heart Sisters?
About four years ago, I was charged with leading a ministry of roughly 70 women. I noticed that when misunderstandings emerged between women, it wasn’t always handled in a way that would be pleasing to God. Unfortunately, I witnessed gossip, competition, and comparison in this culture of lovely Christian women. These ladies are loved and valued by God and created for a purpose only they can fulfill; however, walking through conflict in a way that honors God was a mystery to most. In fact, my friends who are not Christians seemed to handle conflict between one another better than Christian women.
I wanted to read a book with my ministry team that would encourage women to love and support each other with advice on how to work through the inevitable conflicts as well as how to forgive, when and how to establish relational boundaries and teaching our daughters how to be good friends. When I searched for this book, I couldn’t find one – so I wrote it!
Why do women need friendships? Isn’t their spouse enough?
Actually, no. While the marriage institution is a sacred union and very important, women still need each other. According to the popular Harvard Nurses’ Study, not having a strong network of female friends put you more at risk for high blood pressure, high cholesterol and a high heart rate. In fact, not having a girlfriend support system poses the same risk to your health as smoking and being overweight. Also, while I love my husband . . . let’s get real: there are some things men just can’t understand about women because they don’t see through the female lens.
What would you say to a woman who longs for friends but is quiet and reserved?
I know it can be more of a challenge for women who tend to be introverted to put themselves “ out there” but I would encourage them to have the courage to do so! Some of my own Heart Sisters are introverted and they are the best girlfriends! When those who tend to be more reserved keep themselves at home, they’re denying others to know the greatness of someone who is often thoughtful, intuitive and kind.
So many women have been deeply hurt by other women and don’t feel safe making new friendships. What would you say to them?
I would say “I so understand. I’ve been there.” After nursing my wounds and giving myself time to heal, I came to the conclusion that to deny myself the gift of true, authentic friendships would be giving fear a victory. We can’t always control what happens to us but we can control how we react. With each hurt, we grow wiser and are more able to identify who would be considered a safe person and who would not.
How would you advise a woman who is in the midst of a conflict with another woman now?
I would encourage her to use what I call the P.E.G. System. The first step of this system is to pray. Ask God to reveal your role in this conflict and how you can learn and grow from this particular situation. Humility is critically important in all relationships! The second step would be to examine. During the examine stage, there are three questions that need to be answered:
• Am I going to be able to be around this person without thinking about the hurt?
• Will this impact our friendship?
• Will I be able to trust this person in the future?
If your answers indicate there would be a problem in the future, then the next phase is to go directly to her. As followers of Christ, we are commanded in Matthew 18 to first go to the person who has hurt us and speak the truth in love. If both parties possess humble hearts and are more concerned with their relationships rather than being “right,” then conflict can actually make your friendship even stronger.
How on earth could conflict make a friendship stronger?
When two people come to the table and admit they’re both disabled by the flesh, they communicate to one another that they understand they’re a work in progress and aren’t perfect. Once they have talked through their conflict in a healthy manner, they prove their commitment to the relationship so they both understand that no matter what happens, they can talk through it and be OK. It’s a big deal in this “have to be right!” society!
What if you go to someone who has hurt you and you’re not met with humility but rather anger, defensiveness and criticism?
That’s a tough one but I know it happens because it’s happened to me. I think it’s natural to first feel defensive when someone approaches us about something they feel we’ve done wrong. However, I also think it’s possible to re-train our thinking so that when this does happen, we listen with a posture of humility instead of entering into litigation. If you have gone to her and spoken with love and she is still defensive and unable to really hear you, she just might not be ready to experience authentic relationship. Of course, there’s always grace so if she were to approach you later and apologize, then perhaps it was a learning experience for her and can be an example of iron sharpening iron. Sadly, sometimes friendships might end if both parties cannot be humble to one another – and being able to humble yourself to others comes only after we’re able to humble ourselves to God.
What about when a friendship ends? How do you manage the hurt?
First of all, it must be said that some friendships exist just for seasons of your life but then might fade away with time – it’s natural. Your Heart Sisters are the ones who aren’t seasonal – the ones who are always there.
When a friendship ends, it’s critically important not to talk about your friend to anyone else. Hurt only deepens when shallow comments are made about someone else.
Secondly, it’s also important to forgive her – even if she doesn’t seek your forgiveness. Forgiveness is not for her – it’s for you. Unforgiveness eats away the soul like battery acid eats flesh – leaving behind bitterness, anger, and resentment. Though we still may feel the sting, we might have to verbally profess our forgiveness to God– and we might have to do this more than once.
Lastly, as we’ve already discussed, we can’t let our hurtful experiences hold us back from the gift of authentic friendship. I see so many women writing off female friendships because they’ve been burned a time or two. I understand this pain; however, the risk is worth it – true, real, authentic Heart Sisters are life-changing.
How do we teach our daughters about healthy friendships?
The phrase “Be careful little eyes what you see” comes to mind! Like it or not, our children watch us very closely. Several years ago when my daughter was very young, some of my girlfriends and I were standing in my kitchen and we had fallen down the gossip hole. Holy conviction stirred me to quickly change the subject when I noticed my sweet little girl sitting at the table watching and listening intently. We model what we want our daughters to be. If we gossip and talk about others, they’ll do the same. If we view other women as competition and are envious and compare, then your daughter will as well. If you tend to “stir the pot” then yes . . . It’s likely your daughter will, too.
I also think it’s a good idea to be intentional about talking about your own friendships. Now and then, my Heart Sisters and I go out for dinner. My kids don’t like when I leave home in the evenings but I think it’s important to show them that while I love them like crazy, they aren’t the center of my universe. Girlfriends are important and when we prioritize time with them, it communicates to our daughters that friendship should be revered.
Lastly, a sad but true fact is our daughters will likely experience the wrath of a “mean girl” at some point in her life. Teaching her how to handle those “mean girls” is critical so she will be equipped with tools to use when and if the time comes. We talk more about mean girls and how to handle them in Heart Sisters.
What would you say to someone who longs to have Heart Sisters but doesn’t?
There’s nothing wrong with you. Keep having the courage to put yourself out there and be intentional about praying for this specifically. Years ago, I walked through a very hurtful conflict with another woman and I was deeply wounded. Soon after, I started to pray that God would cross my path with true women of God – women who weren’t perfect but instead were willing to be “safe” through humility, love and kindness. It’s not an instant process – those relationships take time to develop. However, ever-so-gradually, God began to answer the desires of my heart – and I know He’ll do the same for you.

 

 

 

You can keep in touch with Natalie at the following

http://www.facebook.com/pages/Natalie-Chambers-Snapp-Author-and-Speaker/115485331818401

http://twitter.com/nataliesnapp

https://www.pinterest.com/nataliecsnapp/

 

 

 

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