A Friend In Me #BookReview #FCBlogger

CHT2HFPWUAMqPOj A Friend In Me – 
How To Be A Safe Haven For Other Women –Bridging The Gap with Younger Ones
Pamela Havey Lau

This book starts off with the forward by Nancy Ortberg. Nancy asks the question “where are the mentors?  The ladies that would tell you (Biblically) whether or not your ways were sound principle or you were stepping outside of God’s word.

Those women, that even if you were sick they brought the meals to help your family, or if you were in need, they did what they could, within their power to help you.  They showed love, not sat around and talked about it.  These women were any age, and any stage of Biblical maturity.  However, they gave grace, they gave mercy and they gave love

Those days are gone or so I find in our area my church and in my area.  By most.  There are still a few that no matter what will offer their help and I know I am guilty of saying “well someone else will help them” That’s all mentality that our way to busy lives have led us too.

Pamela Havery Lau, talks about just that, in her book about friendship and mentoring.

Younger women long for relational connection with older, wiser, “been there, done that“women. As do older women want to seek out that relationship.  In some cases.

Although in most instances there is disconnect between that generation gap. My thoughts are one because the older women are from a completely different generation and therefore that wonderful asset of knowledge goes untapped.

As well as the knowledge that younger generations have with new and better ways of doing things.

a Friend in Me

That welcoming committee to a new church or a new neighbor. Just saying hello to a new person at their church? You never know when that stranger that just shows up that Sunday, all they need is someone to say hello to them. Because of a life broken, their walking in the door, was a struggle just in and of itself. Yet how many times does a stranger go unwelcomed at a church. We like to think that every person that comes through the doors of a church are greeted and met with the loving hearts we think we have, but do we? Or do we say, oh the ushers or pastor will talk to them, I need to rush out to get my kids the nursery so I will just let someone else handle it?? Or my dinner is going to be late if I stay very much longer, and I have a house full of family headed to my house right now.

Things like that. Yet, it would only take a few minutes of your time to show someone love that may never get anywhere else. Then when we don’t even take the time to say hello in the church. Where is Christ in this? Did we show them Christ? Did you just walk by someone new in church today?  Or worse yet, someone that has been there as long as you?  Without saying hello or without even an out-reached hand to welcome that person there today?!?

Now that being said, there is no way you can be everything to everyone. You must allow yourself some downtime. In doing so, you refresh your heart, you renew your spirit. Without your own emotional and spiritual refreshing you cannot be a good mentor to someone else. This means diving into God’s Word for your own healing and rejuvenation.  Also you can be a mentor at any age.  

This statement from Pam on her website pretty much wraps up the entire premise of this book.

“Every kind of Christian woman—conservative, moderate, liberal, suburbanite, city dweller, lover of liturgy, lover of charismatic worship, egalitarian, complementarian, single, or married—models and teaches something about God to the next generation. I have seen firsthand how difficult it has become for women across the generations to share deeply from their hearts, but I’ve got good news: I’ve also witnessed powerful transformations in women’s hearts when we finally do. For more than fifteen years I’ve spoken with all kinds of women who love God and want to make a difference by bringing God glory through their ministries, jobs, and families. In my conversations and prayers with them, we always come back to the condition of their hearts—something that is holding them back from deeply loving the younger women in their lives. These seemingly negative ideas of themselves or the ways they are being perceived can hold them back from sharing their faith out loud.”

  1. Silence – shut yourself down to the outside world and then invite the Holy Spirit to guide you into your own heart for healing of anything you need.

  2. Thanksgiving – exclaiming Thanksgiving to the Master.

  3. Self-examination – A time to look into your own heart and soul and ask God for forgiveness in what you may need

  4. Request – this is different from the asking in forgiveness. This may be something like asking God for the courage to go to that person that is new and you haven’t spoken to. Or the strength to go forward with something that you know in your heart is going to be scary to you.

  5. Write – always write! One of the ways Lau suggests, is this, to write a letter to someone you may be in conflict with either asking for forgiveness or offering forgiveness. Sometimes this just may not be possible, but writing the letter anyway is a good way of getting the anger out, whether you have been hurt by someone or you have hurt them. If you can’t get it to them, or there could be more harm done in doing so, writing and not sending is a great way to let the forgiveness come in your heart. You have done the act of forgiveness, and you do not have to do it in person if it could be harmful to you in anyway

In giving yourself totally to God, there are several things you can do to get you into that place, instead of

As you study this book, you may find that as you are doing things like mentoring and just helping with anyone who you can following that Acts1:8 mentality; once you start doing something, you must follow through.  However do not get that “burnt out” syndrome, where you start something and don’t finish it.  If you over schedule in doing so, you WILL end up losing the purpose of why you are there.  Jesus Christ… 

I really love the idea of what Lau writes in A Friend In Me. I can’t think of anyone I know who hasn’t been hurt by someone and the resources she offers are just good sound advice. This book is based on Biblical principle and references a lot of verses. However it is a stand-alone book, on mentoring, healing, forgiveness and loving our neighbors (which includes anyone you come in contact with, at any point of your life.

There is also a group of videos with discussion questions that you can find here!  I am so amazed at all of the resources that are available to work with when you dive into this book

You can connect with Lau at the following sites
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PLau-301{MORE ABOUT PAMELA HAVEY LAU}
Pam Lau is the author of Soul Strength and numerous articles for such publications as Christian Scholar’s Review and Christianity Today. She has taught writing at George Fox University and speaks around the country at conferences and retreats. A graduate of Liberty University and Colorado State University, Lau lives near Portland, Oregon, with her husband and three daughters.
Find out more about Pamela athttp://www.pamelalau.com.

Also the Publisher and Pamela have made available to the public through Youversion.com a reading plan called A Friend In Me that can be found here https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/1586-a-friend-in-me

I was gifted a copy of this book by Family Christian Stores

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4 Responses

  1. ohhhh this looks like a wonderful book! we need to be honest to goodness friends with the ladies in our worlds!

    Like

  2. Love the bit about action to help and not sitting around talking about them. A lot of the helping and family/community feeling is lost now in this day and age. Interested that there are videos and discussion questions too.

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  3. Looks like a great book! I think we do need to see more of women helping women, young or old. thanks for sharing! #bloggercaregroup

    Like

  4. Oh, the truth written here. Writing helps me a lot in releasing negative emotions and even declaring the goodness of God despite the mess I’m in.

    When we surrender to God, it seems we open the gates of miracles and blessings. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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