The Joy Of Letting Go

 Did you know parents let go of their children every day, often in ways they don’t realize? Whether your kids are in kindergarten or college, learn how to prepare your hearts for your kids’ independence with Vicki Caruana’s The Joy of Letting Go. The 52 devotional readings within shine a light on all the times readers have loosened their grip on their children and encourages them to continue to let go in life-giving ways. Written by a parenting and education expert, The Joy of Letting Go will comfort and inspire parents in all seasons of parenting.

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The Joy of Letting Go: Releasing Your Teen into Real Life in the Big World (David C. Cook, April 2017)

With readings of encouragement and inspirational quotes, this devotional helps parents prepare their hearts for their children’s independence, whether their kids are just starting kindergarten or graduating from college.

Parents let go of their children every day, even in ways they don’t realize. The 52 devotional readings within shine a light on all the times readers have loosened their grip on their children and encourages them to continue to let go in life-giving ways. Written by a parenting and education expert, The Joy of Letting Go will comfort and inspire parents in all seasons of parenting.

Learn more  and purchase a copy.


My Review

My children are 37, 33, 33 and 28. I was that person that, while teaching my children to be extremely self sufficient, I also was THAT MOM. You know the one.

My child was special! Amazing! Going to rule the world!! (Rolling eyes at myself here)

I also was going to do whatever it took to make that happen.

In doing that, I alienated all my kids and made their life more difficult. Not only were they not 100% prepared, no matter what I taught them, and me having nothing (so I thought) to hang my hat on, our lives became very complicated to say the least.

You raise your kids for the result, to leave your home and be out on their own.

You need to give them the self confidence that they can leave your home, and want to come back and more importantly are comfortable coming home to visit.

They want to come back, NOT because they need to, but because they want to.

God gives us resources to work through this season of our lives!
Vicki Caruana puts these resources together in a great devotional called “The Joy of Letting Go: Releasing Your Teen into Real Life In The Big World
“The, very best words we have from God are Phil 4:6-7- Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with Thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus”

SLAP ME UPSIDE THE HEAD WITH A 2X4!!!

There it is. The direction in which we should let our kids go.

From their first little steps, all the way to the college dorm (or first apartment and job etc.)

With prayer and petition, with Thanksgiving.

Oh, how I would live a do-over!!
1st. For the plain and simple reason that I would follow God’s command.
2nd. So that my children could see me and their childhood home in a different frame of mind. By reframing my whole “mother hen” attitude to a #spreadtheirwingsandwnjoytheirflight attitude, I would give my kids the best thing ever.

Truth that Jesus will protect them and truth that they would always find their way back home.

The verse I gave is one that Caruana uses with 52 devotionals to help parents understand that growing up and moving on (in most cases) isn’t optional, it is the way God intended life to be.

You can purchase The Joy of Letting Go  here at the bottom of the information http://litfusegroup.com/author/VCaruana


Dr. VicVCaruana-435ki Caruana is the author of 20 books and the blog Apples & Chalkdust—named after her bestselling book that has touched the lives of a million educators around the world. Caruana is one of four parenting experts on “Starting Points,” Focus on the Family’s parenting DVD series. Formerly a public school teacher and a homeschooling mom, Vicki is now an assistant professor of education at Mount Saint Mary College in New York. She lives with her station wagon loving husband, Chip, in Newburgh, New York and has two grown sons in Colorado Springs.

You can find Vicki at this blog  http://vickicaruana.blogspot.com.
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Okay I Have a huge pet peeve and I am going to share it here because well, where else!!

I get so tired of going to public restrooms that are designed for handicapped and when I get there to do my business, anyone from a little kid or a parent with a couple kids may be in there, or that person that just wants to read their email, check their Facebook.  You get the drift!!

Doesn’t matter that there may be three or four other stalls open. OR the family restroom, that I leave for families, unless I cannot get into the stall; because I am not a family, but ONE PERSON of course everyone wants to go in there, because it’s the big stall!!

But what about the person that MUST go in there.

Because their wheelchair or walker wont fit in any other stall.

Or the mom with a medically or physically challenged child that they must help.

Stay out of that stall unless you absolutely need to be in there please.

I waited over 10 minutes today for that stall, because I couldn’t go somewhere else. When you are disabled with chronic kidney issues and the wait is extensive, it only hurts you more.

It is literally, mentally and physically exhausting dealing with people who have no respect for anyone other than themselves.   

Trust me, i can tell if you have some reason to be in there.  I am that claustrophobic, high maintenance person.  That person, I get why they are in there.

What I am not though, is a fully walking person.  I must ride my scooter into the stall.

I NEED that stall.  So if you want to go read your cell phone in a bigger stall, go to the family stall.  Or better yet, just go to a regular stall, get your business done and get out!  There are other people waiting on those stalls also.

 

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Great-Grandparenting

I have some news and it is fabulous. . 

First,  I want to say that being a grandparent is a fabulous season in my life!

I absolutely love all of my grandchildren so much it is truly a love like no other. .  I have no words. .  I would do anything for them (please do not tell them that as I still have to be around them
Anyway,  Kourtlyn,  William (by proxy),  MaKayla,  Courtney, Jewel,  Jazzy,  Natalie,  Jaxson,  Anthony,  Jayden,  and Kaitlynn are the most amazing people ever! . Christian, beautiful and handsome,  smart, like scary smart!!,  funny,  talented,  hard workers,  ballers, fantastic sports players,  creative, artistic, one is a great homemaker, they all are very respectful, they love to play hard, they love to work hard, and they all are just amazing people (without being my grandchildren)

I am so in awe of how much I love them more every single day!

So all of that to say, I am going to be a GREAT –  Grandmother.  

My child is going to be a grandfather!  I do not think I could even think this through to begin with, however, when I sat down and realized the impact, I became a blubbering baby.  Those feelings that I have felt all these years, he now gets to feel.  He will understand just how I love his children so much!

So yeah, that’s our news, 

We are going to be great grandparents and my beautiful granddaughter is going to be a mommy and she will be amazing.  She is so great with children and I admire her so much.

I cannot wait to see her as a parent and begin this journey she is taking!  

No pictures except this one, because of privacy, and respect for my grandkids (who are, mostly at that age, of please don’t post my picture because I look horrible) 

BUT 

here is this one!

here’s my little peanut!!!

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To say that we are over the moon with excitement is just the tip of the iceberg.

I cannot thank God enough for entrusting our family with this new little one, and especially K&W  

They are going to be amazing parents and I am so incredibly proud of them as a grandmother and cannot wait to see what God has stored up for them and this precious little peanut!

HixCrew Organizing Hacks

LifeHacks

I have three pieces of organizational software I use  I will explain about them in this post.

Use a calendar. No matter whether it’s an app or a paper copy, use a calendar. Put EVERYTHING on it.

  1. My husband and I use Gmail calendar,  this is a pretty simplified calendar that my husband and I use across multiple platforms

  2.  my extended family uses Cozi  this is a program that my extended family uses across 3 homes, 9 kids and 5 school systems.

  3. Evernote  this is an incredibly powerful notetaking-webclipping-pdf saving and so much more app.

Here are somethings I use my Gmail calendar for.
Of course schedules, mine, my husbands, my grandkids (sports teams etc)

here is a tutorial on how to set up your calendar

Every bill I have due, goes on the calendar 2 weeks before it’s due. That allows for budgeting, reminds you to actually pay the bill, leaves a paper trail that isn’t huge stack of stuff.
Days I open accounts
Dr’s appts. I am separating this one, because this is how I do it
Dr Joe Blow/Mary Someone (dr’s name and the person who scheduled it – sometimes that is very important, for when they have no record of said appt or it gets rescheduled or whatever, without notifications. I do this for any appt I have, whether it be a Dr or any other service provider
101 What Street (what if you are so sick you can’t tell someone)
Wherever, Wherever
999-999-9999
Friday, October 9, 2015
11:00 AM (I also put it on my calendar 30 minutes early)
Notes: 3 mth xyz check up with fasting labs
(I use an app, so I always send an invitation to my husband The big things like surgeries etc., I send to my son also because he holds my medical power of attorney
Whether you use an app or paper, I do put all this information

Gmail Calendar will also import Facebook events, birthdays and events from your email.  to be a simple run of the mill calendar it is a powerful calendar

Now the Cozi Calendar.  If you have never used this app, please check it out.  It is great.  We are networked across three homes, 9 kids, 5 adults and 5 different school systems.  It works so great, so that all kids schedules, school functions, etc. get put on it and the family has access to it at a glance.  Then you can also sort each “team and get a team lineup” you can sort by person (each person has its own color to add each apt)  Notifications can be sent to only adults, or each person that is involved with the appointment or everyone on the system.  The paid version will let you add birthdays, shopping list, to do list, meal planners and it will even import that Gmail Calendar that I talked about earlier.

here is a short video that helps explain Cozi

I use Evernote that syncs across mine and my husbands as well as the older grandkids tablets/phones.
We use a central grocery list, a central to do list (for days off)
This software package is one of the most productive and necessary apps I have ever used. I do use the paid version, and it has reminders, passwords, and you organize things by “notebooks” it is an amazing, easy but powerful piece of software that my family couldn’t do without. I also use it for my blog to help organize things.

Here is a video overview of Evernote

Imagine a row of notebooks lined up on a shelf, and in those notebooks each little note that is pertinent to that “notebook”  Some of our notebooks are Hix Family passwords, Recipes, Hix Family Manuals (it clips pdf files from the web); His Personal Notebook, Laura’s Personal Notebook; Paul’s Personal Notebook.

In mine (Laura’s Personal Notebook, we are going to use it as an example, so the binder is Memaw Personal.  Inside are all my little “notes” Anything Kids (not schedules) Blog Stuff, Book Reviews, Devotionals, FMF Encouragement, Laura Notes to Check, Scans, WebClip’s

Okay, I know this is overkill on the organizational stuff but it takes that to keep a family as large as ours organized with all the kid schedules etc..
As a grandparent, I do try to get to at least some of every child’s activities.

I always, and I mean always write dates on groceries of when I buy them. I keep a sharpie in the cabinet and before I put them up, I just write the mthdateyear on the package.

Just some random things:

Other things, I use tubs for games, every piece goes in the tub, Each child has an activity box at my house.  Puzzles go in ziplock bags.  I have one huge crayon box, but then each child has a Journaling Bag for trips.  It has a journal, pens, pencils and a few crayons.

On my computer, I use simple file names. If it is something for the kids, I am very pragmatic about it, say Nattie’s basketball schedule, that is exactly what I use for the file name. I don’t fancy them up, nor let the computer decide, I dumb it down as much as I can so that I have no problem finding them. When I clean out my phones, or my desktop on my computer, I use Phone10012015 (the date I clean it) or Desktop10012015 (the date I clean it)
Simplify, simplify, simplify.

Since it is ONLY my husband and I at home, I streamlined our kitchen, 6 plates, 6 bowls, 6 cups, etc. Less to clean, less to take care of and I also bought smaller. I purchased 7” plates, instead of standard dinner plates, so that we would eat less. 

I do a LOT of crockpot cooking (even for us two) I make our dogs food and will soon start making his treats when we run out of what we have.
We are not only getting our organizational skills up to par, but are also getting healthy at the same time.

and my bonus that helps me with the grandkids

make a calendar for your kids; I am talking about a rotation calendar.  Whatever the rotation is for, is up to your family and what works for your family, but for our family, it is a shortened calendar that stays in my car, and has one child’s name on it for every day. (these are the kids I have on a routine basis) whoever;s day it is, gets several privileges as well as tasks.  That person is #1 for the day.  It doesn’t mean they are the best or whatever, it just means for that day, they usually get the most “extra things” and have some extra tasks so it’s not all pretty.

some of these things are  (we have three kids now so, here’s some of our things) My kids are older, so remember this as you are reading

Kid #1 gets to sit up front (I must use my front seat because of lack of seats, so don’t even go there with me) they also get the privilege of holding the money if the kids get to go to the store, they also get to “pay” at the grocery, gas station.  They get to choose first through snacks I bring from home if there are different ones however, I try to do all the same.  If they were staying at home with me that day, they also take their shower first, must help wash the dishes.  they get the trash out of the car (everyone is responsible for getting their own trash to them) so it’s not all good stuff and it’s not all bad stuff

#2 usually doesn’t have that many activities assigned they get a free day basically except they help me because I am disabled, with my things and oxygen etc.

#3 holds the door anywhere we go.  they are responsible for putting all the car buckets up (will explain these in a minute)  

So the person that has the day, is the go to person for the day.  This helps me avoid arguments from the kids of who sits “shotgun”   Sorry look at the calendar.

The rotation continues no matter what, we do, no hold days. Whatever day you are in my car, That calendar day stands.
Way back when I had grandkids staying with me all the time, I started this. I took the arguments out of the equation
(these things MUST be set up and in stone first) and I had them help me do this.

Other things, we have in place already, are
Winner cleans up the game,
Everyone gets their dishes to the sink. Even the littles. If they can’t reach the sink, they put it on the floor. I’m good with that, because it gets it all in one place.
The littles are NOT too little to carry their belongings or pick up their belongs.  If they can stand and play with toys they can put things up and take responsibility for their things.  That doesn’t mean they have to solely be responsible because they are too little.  But if they can take a toy out of a backpack, they can put it back in.

Also in my car, every child has a bucket that has 4 pockets and a handle. This holds their personal belongings in the car for long trips, as well as if we stop and get food they have a place to hold their food.  Kinda like these, and then they decorated them up

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I also have made sure everyone has a cup holder because my van is conveniently unequipped with them. LOL
We have church rules that are already in place, as well as general rules that I expect them to follow everywhere, house rules, and trip rules and we adjust appropriately.  One of the biggest is “hands on car”

When I had the older set of granddaughters staying with me, I had a runner.  We opened the doors, she took off running.  So the rule was implemented, your feet touch the ground, your hands go on the car, until I say go.  If the car is too hot you “pretend to touch it”  This keeps the kids from running and keeps them all together.  Being disabled, you keep your “ducks in a row” where you can LOL
But these are set in stone, and each child knows them and it’s kind of like a “manual for the Hix Crew”

With 9 grandchildren, there is organized chaos. I get more compliments on trips etc, because they know ahead of time what is expected, Just had one start going with us on overnight trips, so he has been added to the rotation and got to get a crash course on the rules. He was the best one on the last two trips!!! Maybe refresher courses are needed. However, the kids wrote the rules to begin with, when this was first implemented, so they take ownership in it.  It works for our family and I can stop the “I wanna go first” or I don’t wanna pick up the game, or all the other little things that kids can find to argue about!

But it’s worked out where first is not always best, last is not always worst, and in between doesn’t get left out.

Everyone has a task and when you have this many people at one time sometimes in a hotel room/car etc, it is necessary

Being organized is a cohesive lifestyle. You may not have to be “this” organized, and you may have to be even more organized.

I am NOT an organized person  I am very unorganized.  I have ADD.  I cannot focus on any one project for any given length of time

Some of this maybe duplicated, and some is overkill, however, when you are as chronically UN organized as I am, this keeps me on track and focused.  After the first setups with each one, it’s as easy as just typing a small note and hitting save.  I have used Gmail Calendar for a few years now as well as Cozi and just found Evernote and started with it.  

However, these three apps are my lifesavers.  

One thing I also do, is I make a print copy (for backup) of each month.  I don’t do it every time something changes, because they each have their own internal “cloud” to back up to. Just a few things that work for our family to give us some sense of order in our huge family organized chaos.

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#Stolen #IdentityRevolution Jessica Fralin

http://www.wdbj7.com/video/22yearold-author-from-lynchburg-talks-about-book/34553188

check out this video 

Remember this name

Jessica Fralin

#IdentityRevolution

#Stolen

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Have you ever wondered what happens to your identity once you click enter on any social media?

I’m not talking about your financial or physical identity (although that is a real issue and I strongly suggest you find a great resource in protecting yourself that way also)  

I’m talking about your spiritual identity.

Just what do you do online.   Do you hide behind a screen name and become a narcissist with others or do you hide behind a screen name and degrade yourself because if the unrealistic views we see on Pinterest, Twitter, Facebook and Instagram?

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How many people do you really know in life that do have that perfect life?

Whether it be they have it all?   Or that they think they have it all.

Pinterest can destroy your self-esteem if you allow it too.  Facebook can become a place where people bulky each other and then hide behind a screen name because they say these huge, grandeur things that destroy people.   That if truth be good, they would NEVER ever consider saying in life.

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Jessica Fralin takes us to the brink if learning how to protect your own spiritual identity.   Not giving up social media.   Now very, learning how to take a step back and say, God, will what I post, tweet , pin
glorify you?

Can you imagine just what you could do if everything you tweeted, posted, liked on Facebook or pinned on Pinterest, became about choosing joy, and choosing to  put a positive, spiritual (not necessarily shoving it down people’s throats) line of social media interactions.

I mean everything you liked, every page you visited, every status you commented on and what you comments was something that you make a decision, each time you hit enter, that you say Lord, will what I say here lift someone up and make them see You in m or will others realize that you have stolen your own identity, BT giving in to your own pressure of social media perfectionism?

As I thought about what Fralin said about her Pinterest account I got to thinking about some of the boards I had, Dream Home, Let’s Go, DIY Crafts and things like that.   Knowing full well at my age, I will never buy another home (financially it’s not sound) and if I put in it the things I pinned it would cost about a million dollars.

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See where I’m going here.   Are you setting yourself up for failure with your OWN social media content.   In context taking away the truths that God has already given you.

You are beautiful, you are loved.   You are valued.

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Have you #stolen your own identity?

You need to check Fralin’s book #Stolen out and learn just where you can stop , learn skem positive ways to take the focus back to Gid and learn to listen to Him.
He set the oath for your identity before you were ever though of.

Think of the Bible as the perfect Board on Pinterest.   The Life hacks, the quotes, the perfect ways to live your life, treat others , treat yourself…..
.while this book isn’t a book to make you give up social media.   Its purpose it’s to make you think.   Long and hard about what you say, do, think, feel etc about every aspect of social media.

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It also sets up guidelines to help you decide when you need to take a break.   Change the way you post or even better yet, be still and listen to Gid’s word, instead of the world’s.

 

{MORE ABOUT JESSICA FRALIN}

Jessica Fralin

Jessica Fralin is an author & blogger in Nashville, Tennessee. Whether speaking from a platform or typing away on jessicafralin.com, her heart is to convey the message of love, acceptance, and worth that can only be found in the gospel. On any given day, you can find her holding a book or a latte and passionately teaching others who they are―and why it matters―when it comes to social media.

Find out more about Jessica at http://jessicafralin.com.
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Little Words Matter #FCBlogger

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When I agreed to review Little Words Matter Bible Storybook I was hoping that it wasn’t just another little kids Bible Story book.  Like all the rest.

It certainly isn’t!  I LOVE this book.  So little, so sweet.  Just a simple board book.  Easy for little hands to hold and read.

The stories in the book, aren’t just the simple verses of the popular stories in the Bible.  The author Tama Fortner, gives this little book a personality and separates it from the other Bible Storytime books.  The illustrations by Holli Conger add so much to these beautiful little stories

Each story -there are 19 of them, start out with simple word statements.  Fortner goes on to tell us the story in easy, small kids words.  

Most children that read this can remember those sentences.  19 stories from the Bible. Isn’t that what we, as parents, grandparents and/or teachers or ministry leaders want?  Words that not only teach these children, beautiful stories from God’s Word, but anything that will help them to remember them.

We will take the story of Jesus on the Cross.

Bible

from Luke 23, John 19:17-42

Jesus was arrested!  He was laughed at, spit on, and beaten.  Then He was put on the cross.  But even on the cross, Jesus loved everyone

“Father, forgive them,” He said, Jesus dies and was placed in a tomb.  A giant stone covered it

Jesus died to take away the sins of the world

What a great way to sum up the story of Jesus on the cross, just so the littles can understand!  I LOVE this book and am so grateful to have reviewed it to be introduced to the series,  With Christmas coming, and a lot of littles in my family, this will make the perfect gift to put in their stocking or under the tree!

you can find this book and many others at Family Christian Stores.  Check out all the great things you can get for Christmas presents for your kiddoes.

 

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About the Author Tama Fortner

My name is Tama. I love God, my family and friends, and coffee with extra cream. I live a crazy life that is all-at-once wonderful, messy, and filled with love.Untitled_Modified

In the midst of the craziness of carpools and crockpots, I am also a Bible teacher and a freelance writer and editor. My most recent book, God Is Always Good, was published this fall. I’ve collaborated on a number of titles, including the bestselling Jesus Calling for Kids and Grace for the Moment for Kids. My home is in the hilly suburbs of Tennessee, with my husband, two kids, a dog, and a cat aptly named Trouble.

My prayer is that all I do, all I say, all I write and teach will bring glory to Him, because . . .

He brought me out into a spacious place;
    He rescued me because He delighted in me.

-Psalm 18:19
You can keep up with Tama at her blog at http://www.tamafortner.com or the following links

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About The Illustrator Holli Conger


Holli’s artistic talent and creativity has been evident from a very early age. Although she excelled in many areas of school, art projects were always her favorite. In third grade, Holli’s art teacher presented her with a big green pencil case (which she still has today) for having the best drawing in the class.

Today she is a digital and dimensional illustrator who illustrates in a whimsical style suitable for any application of illustration. From magazine, greeting cards and advertising, to CD covers, packaging and children’s books, Holli approaches each project with whimsy and creativity guaranteed to put a smile on any child’s (and parent’s) face.

With a Bachelor’s Degree in Graphic Design and Advertising, Holli has the knowledge and experience of working with
art directors, designers, copywriters and other creative types to collaborate on projects. A Nashville native, she currently lives in Winston-Salem, NC, where her husband, their daughter and son give her plenty of inspiration.

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Great Little Book About Teaching Children About Anger

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Teaching Christs Children about Feeling Angry is written from a child’s point of view, which makes it oh so much easier to be able to say “let’s read this”

Hyman brings practical daily use, Bible Verses and an easy to read format to help children understand that being angry is okay, sinning while we are angry is not.

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Teaching Christ’s Children about Feeling Angry, while the title implies it is for Christians only, gives extremely great common advice for anyone.  Not just Christians.  This is the only thing I do not like about the book.  To me, the title excludes some children.  Even though we are all children of God, someone who has never read the Bible could interpret this title to say “not me”

I know that isn’t what Hyman wanted or is saying.  With great illustrations, and following a series of books by Hyman, I love the content of the book and think the title needs work!  

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More about the Author

CorineCorine Hyman is a clinical psychologist who has helped families for close to 10 years. Currently, she lives in Baltimore, MD where she has opened her home to children without families by becoming a foster parent. The idea for her first book, Why We Give Gifts at Christmas Time,  was placed in her heart many years ago and since its publishing Corine has published several other books including: What Is Love, My Journey with Jesus Christ, Jaden Goes to Foster Care, (see my review here) and Why I Give. With the exception of Jaden Goes to Foster Care, each book is designed to use the Bible to help both children and adults understand the biblical basis for why Christians do what they do. Look for her upcoming series on what the Bible has to say about feelings in August of 2015. To help design a character in her upcoming book, email her at booksbycorine@gmail.com.

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