Don’t Go to Bed Angry: Stay Up and Fight


click on the graphic above for the giveaway!

Don’t Go to Bed Angry: Stay Up and Fight (Abingdon Press, June 2016)

A practical handbook on how to fight better—together—for your marriage.

In every marriage, there is conflict. And with every conflict, there is a choice for resolution. Will you ignore the issue until it seemingly goes away? Or will you work together  find peace?

In Don’t Go to Bed Angry, Deb and Ron DeArmond give you permission to fight. Conflict isn’t the problem, after all; the real issue is how we deal with the conflict. Deb and Ron demonstrate how communication through conflict can safeguard—and even strengthen—your relationship. Immensely practical features including worksheets and discussion questions make this a definitive go-to resource to help you start fighting—together—for your marriage.

Purchase a copy:

My Review

as I read this book, I realized just how close to home it really was. This was a very hard read for me with all the problems we are having. from lack of communication, to the problem of communicating the wrong way, boy we have it all wrapped up in one big needy, horrible package. 

However, I learned a lot from the DeArmands; like the listening skills. while I had never really thought that much about it, God has gone before us and carved out a pathway of nonresistance for us we just have to take those first steps down that road, of being there in the moment for each other

some of the things I thought about were the following

 a)when you are with your spouse in what is deemed a relational moment – lose the screens (phones, TVs, tablets, computers etc) There is nothing more important other than a family emergency than that person right in front of you. There is nothing more disrespectful than to be with your spouse or significant other, yet not be there because you are so fixated on a screen. I mean, the LOVE of your LIFE is talking to you! Get Excited!

b) Lead into the conversation with prayer;preferably from the male spouse if he will; if he won’t, this is a great time to pray for him to become the leader of your home in all things.

c) always use respect. No name calling , no throwing in past actions and above all, if you have ever told them you forgive them over something, that should never be mentioned again


About the authors:

Deb DeArmond is an author, speaker, and coach with a focus on communication, relationships, and conflict resolution. Her writing explores marriage, parenting, in-law and extended family relationships. She is the author of Related By Chance, Family By Choice and I Choose You Today: 31 Choices to Make Love Last. Deb is the founder of Living-Write, where she coaches aspiring authors. She’s monthly columnist and feature writer for Lifeway’s Mature Living Magazine, and has published more than 120 articles online and in print publications.

Ron DeArmond has a hunArmandgry heart for the Word, and has studied the Bible for 45+ years. Ron’s call to serve men is evident in his previous ministry positions with Christian Men’s Network under Dr. Edwin Lewis Cole and Faithful Men Ministry. Ron is currently the Associate Pastor of men’s ministry at Catch the Fire/ DFW and has ministered around the world. The DeArmonds live in the Dallas/Fort Worth area.

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Five Minute Friday – Exhale

Exhale emit breath or vapor; breathe out.
2. to pass off as vapor; pass off as an effluence. verb (used with object), ex·haled, ex·hal·ing.
3.  to breathe out; emit (air, vapor, soundetc.): to exhale a sigh.
4.  to give off as vapor: The engine exhaled steam.
5.  to draw out as a vapor or effluence; evaporate


Whew….hmmm…..ahhhh… no matter how you do it, exhale relieves the carbon dioxide from your body.  In other words, poisons.

and equating that with exhaling, when you breathe, good goes in, bad goes out, so relieving yourself of all the toxins, is a great thing.  Required to live and required to get through a day.

So expunging poison from your body, like sin, is a way to cleanse your soul.  When you ask God in your heart,, he expunged satan from your heart.  Your want to only take in good things should prevalent in your soul, good friends, good reading, good TV, good websites, great music

Those things don’t come naturally though.  Because of Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden, we are born sinful.  Every Day, the first breath you take each morning, you sin….

Isn’t it incredible that we have a Lord and Savior that can take away that sin.  He collects our tears, he washes us clean,..  By reading His word, we have a guide to be able to live a life that has the ending of the lifetime.

have you read Revelations?  Have you read the Bible?

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I am going through the Bible this year and have been so blessed to reread things and really understand what He is talking about, because my faith is stronger, I understand.  To me, that gives me so much joy that I actually “know” what it’s saying

He tells us not to worry, not to fret, not to be prideful and to let Him guide your life.  In doing so, you can EXHALE and rejoice in the truth, that God sits in Heaven and will be coming back for us one day!!!




Five Minute Friday

Five Minute Friday


this is from Lisa-Jo Baker’s Blog that explains FMF)
So, here’s the skinny: every Friday for going on four years now hundreds of people have joined a kind of writing flash mob over here.
We write for five minutes flat. All on the same prompt that I post here at 1 minute past midnight EST ever Friday. And we connect on Twitter with the #FMFParty (It stands for Five Minute Friday Party).
No extreme editing; no worrying about perfect grammar, font, or punctuation.
Unscripted. Unedited. Real.
It started because I’d been thinking about writing and how often our perfectionism gets in the way of our words. And I figured, why not take 5 minutes and see what comes out: not a perfect post, not a profound post, just five minutes of focused writing.
So now on Fridays a group of people who love to throw caution to the wind and just write without worrying if it’s just right gather to share what five minutes buys them. Just five minutes.
Your words. This shared feast. It’s easy to join in, just:
Check what the prompt is on my Lisa Jo Baker’s Blog.
Write a post in only five minutes on that topic on your blog.
{And if you don’t have a blog, no worries! Just leave your writing as a comment on my post} Link over to Lisa’s blog and invite friends to join in. Select the permalink to your post {so not your blog url but your post url } Using the blue linky tool at the bottom of Lisa’ Five Minute Friday post enter your link. It will also walk you through selecting which photo you want to show up in the linky. Your post will show up in our Five Minute Friday linky. Be sure and encourage the person who linked up before you!
Our most important requirement for participation: There’s really only one absolute, no ifs, ands or buts about it
Five Minute Friday rule: you must visit the person who linked up before you & encourage them in their comments. Seriously. That is, like, the rule. And the fun. And the heart of this community


The enemy Will NOT win

Today has been one of those days where it seems like the enemy is doing everything he can to keep from

sharing/showing God Not going into detail bit let’s just say


You are NOT mightier than my God

You are NOT mightier than my faith and

You are NOT mightier than my marriage


Thank you so much God for helping me stand firm and sid in your preaence. Help me continue on a path

of being a passionate follower of you

A true follower of you

I know I am redeemed and I just cry out to you for you to fill me up with your spirit

Satan’s lies are powerful, but God’s truth is even stronger.

My prayer is this: on the days when you feel unlovable and ugly and you doubt why anyone would want you… those days when you feel like a failure as a mom or a wife… the days when you can’t get your finances in order and your checkbook just won’t balance… the days when your past slinks up beside you and reminds you of people who have hated you or laughed at you… the days when your friends have stopped calling or are too busy to notice you… the days when someone does something horrible to you and takes advantage of you… or the nights when you can’t sleep because you don’t know what tomorrow brings and you’re afraid of really screwing up…

On those days? Come back to these truths. Read them out loud if you have to, no matter how silly you feel doing so. Remind yourself that your worth does NOT lie in your friends or your finances or your marriage or your past. You are worthy of being loved just because of His love for you. Above all else, you are His. Never forget.

the above is from

she says exactly what I want to say and how I want to say it!!  Elizabeth is a great writer and probably has no clue who I am, but I love to read her blog!!!


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My Big But!

I got this idea from here

I just found this blog, but am already loving it!


For years I made excuses, yes, but… I’ll do this, but.. Not yet, but.. No but!

But, But, But

I was dwelling in my own insecurities over a possible failed marriage, the realization that I had failed as a parent and the fact that I was turning to the world to feed my insecurities.

I was reeling.. I’m not going to give details, but… (there’s no reason to give the details) I was sulking, and sulking big time… I was on the biggest pity party one could imagine.  I had been wronged, and I wanted everyone to know it.  The one person of all, the one that hurt me the most, my husband, was the one I lashed out at the most.  I hurt him so much during this time.  I know I did.  All because I was saying, But God….

Let me back up a few years

I knew exactly what God wanted me to do.  I was seeking, I was seeking hard for the answer.  I had started going to church a few years before that because I was so empty inside and I wanted anything to fill the void.  I found a lot in church, however, I never felt fulfilled 100%.

I kept seeking.

Fast forward…  the depression got worse, the anxiety got worse, I dove into work and my youngest son.  I poured myself into both of them.  Heart and soul.  I gave them everything I had.  I was still seeking.  For anything still.

Still finding nothing, I knew still that the questions were the same, yes God, but…

It wasn’t until David went to college and I was forced to medically retire and I was left with nothing but myself, and God, (isn’t HE funny that way!) that I began to really realize, exactly what He had been trying to tell me all those years.  That the Yes Buts would get me no where!

Until I fully submitted myself to His awesome and incredible power and grace, that the things and feelings that I was having were going to keep cycling and going on in my head.  I would never get to that point of eternal peace, that I wanted so bad!

I had to be broken.  God had to literally break my heart to mend my heart!  But isn’t He so amazing that He has the power to heal our broken hearts!

The life I knew, the pity party, the But God’s were over…

I had a new heart and a new life.  I was always a Christian, I just didn’t know how to LIVE as a Christian.  I’m still not there, and I have my faults don’t get me wrong.  The arguing with God is over.  I know He will heal whatever it is that comes my way.

I’m so thankful God broke me to mend me…

The word But is no longer in my vocabulary when it comes to dealing with God!




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